The walk...

too drunk.. so please excuse.... after all this is how my heart beats when i am drunk !

That day when we walked together...

through the back way of our school...

The day which i held your hands ...

The day which I went crazy...

I saw my heaven in your eyes...

I walked in the shadows of your hair...

my heart followed your happiness

I felt your love and kept walking ....

Then she went , leaving behind my heart...

my eyes start filling,,, my heart seems heavy...

how could i walk .. how could i move...

I cant see these unknown paths...

why is the question...

why did you leave me...

my ways are endless....

i am afraid of the dark...

my eyes look tired ...

my heart beats slower,,,,

need Peace !!! need you !!!

I Love You !!!

Open Windows

This happened during last vacation on my journey back to my hometown. As it was Christmas season , flight tickets were too costly . So had to look for train tickets.Some how , i managed to get a sleeper class ticket and i boarded the train from Hyderabad at around 2 pm in the evening .

My seat was in S3 and my cabin was empty as i got in .After sometime a newly wed couple joined me. According to me , newly wedded couples are the worst travel companions one can ever get . They will not even smile at others as they are more busy with themselves :)

As train was about to leave the station , one old man and an young handsome guy came into our cabin , a father and his son. They took the seat beside me.

The father was too old and weak .He was a very nice man. He introduced his son Ram to us.We felt something wrong in Ram as he starred at people, especially the couples. The husband was very much disturbed with the newly arrived .

Time and train passed by . Every one felt annoyed with Ram as he shouted whenever he saw something outside. I thought he had some mental disorder.After sometime we were accompanied by an unexpected rain . Ram started to shout "rain rain " . All other cabins had there windows closed , but Ram was not at all planning to close the windows. He was playing in the Rain water . Couple got angry and asked Ram to close the window, but Ram didnt even care to listen them .

Husband got up from his seat and said Ram's father " If your son has some mental problem , Put him in some hospital ."

Ram's father replied " Yes he was in hospital . He had a surgery yesterday. He was blind from birth .And now he is seeing this arrogant world for the first time "

and he got up and closed the windows .

The Rest was silence - Hugely inspired from a magazine article

Dreams ..

last night , i slipped down in my dream ,

i went down down and down ...

went back to my school , to that day

on which i saw you first time..

The day which i ran through corridor ,

to see you again and again ...

I felt different for the first time...

i felt like i saw my angel ..

I saw your hair being kissed by the breeze..

the time when i wished i could be a breeze ..

something just made my blood rush ..

the day i realized what love is...

The day after which i could see you everywhere..

after which you filled my dream ...

i felt like luckiest king in the world ..

to have his Queen beside him ...

I saw the day i searched for words ..

that day which i talked to you ...

i saw the smile on your face ..

and that made me my life ....

All of a sudden , i lost everything ...

i am going back from my dream ...

I dont want to go back ...

I wish i could live in my dream...

Back here i saw her again ...

her skin got older , hair whiter

i could see the same eyes , Same smile..

On my chest for ever my dear ...

No Body Understands Me !

Love,

I am here

How long will you ignore me?

I am not a rock

I will welcome you anyday

Your fame been reaching my ears forever

Did you ever hear of me?

Didnt you ever find me interesting?

Look at me love!

Why are you doing this to me?

Am I not patient?

Am I not kind?

Do I envy?

Do I boast?

Am I proud?

I will hope.

I will persevere.

Love,

Me.

I liked the way she wrote it.. And i am a big fan of her ...

Then i remembered of my Noisy door ...

I wrote this ..

Oh dear ...

I am here ,

I am always looking at you,

In the hope you will look back,

I am always with you

just that you cant see me

Am i ugly ?

am i so cruel ?

am i proud ?

I wait for you to call me

I wait for you to hug me.

I wait for you to be mine..

till the days ends..

till my breath stops..

with love ,

your love..

felt so happy that i could write something which atleast in my language can be called as a poem ..

so i wanted her to review it ...

i told her that i have written something similar to what she had written .. Dont take in a negative sense

and i pinged her this ...

The first reply was " Do you Like me . ? "

i told ya i like you ... not in a bad sense ... just because i dont dislike her ....

She thought that i love her and i lost one friend ...

ah!

i think the noisy door keeper sucks..

and the rest was silence ...

The fire Within..

It was a couple of years back . The time when i was in college .. One of my friend was going to his home for a week .So i was appointed in a post of a donkey .." The person who carry all the his friends luggage to the railway station , without even a thanks in return " . After all friendship is all about some donkey things of this type .
His train was scheduled to arrive at morning 4 o clock .. We went to the station in a bike. It started raining as we were about to reach the station ..my clothes got drenched in rain , and some how he managed to protect himself from rain . We reached there an hour before the train time , and we managed to pull his heavy bags to the platform.

There was hardly any people in the platform .Since it was raining outside it was too cold . We had a tea , but it was of no use. Then we decided ourselves to have a cigarette.
Now the task is to find out a Pan shop . He suggested that there is a Pan shop outside the station .

" No i am not going ! " I replied .
" Dude see , you are already soaked " he told me as if i don't know.
" So what ? I don't have money . I didn't took the purse " I gave a really lame excuse .But in fact I was true. I had forgotten my purse.

He gave me 10 rupees and showed me a sympathetic face . I took it from him and moved exactly like a donkey. As i came out of the station a boy , of age around 8 , came to me and asked me some money .He looked dark , was wearing a torn pants and was shivering in the cold .But i have no choice to give the money . I have only a 10 rupees with me and have to get one cigarette , one match box and one tea .so just moved ahead .
He followed me and stood in front of me with his hands open cried in front of me.This is not a new scene for anyone who has gone to an Indian railway station. I ignored him and i rushed towards the pan shop. He then followed me and fell on my feet and asked me again .This is too much .To escape from this i gave him that 10 rupees that i had and turned back to the station .
I saw him running towards the nearby shop with the money .I got curious and i stood by to observe him.He bought a packet of biscuit and rushed to the dark corner of station. I followed him and i saw him giving that packet to a small child , may be his sister .He then noticed me watching them . He smiled at me and i could see gratitude in his eyes .. And the Rest was silence...

Companion in sin ..

For the first and hopefully last time in my life, I got once arrested by police . Case was drink and drive .. it happened in last December , to be precise December 14th . I wasn't in a condition to offer some money to the constable . If i had then i might not be in there. The constable told me to stay inside one of the rooms ,SO called "Lock Ups " . I sat in a corner and due to the effect of birthday party that we had ,i felt asleep . i didn't care about the mosquitoes or the stinking room ..

After some 3-4 hours later, I heard loud shouting. i saw a boy being thrown into the same lockup , hes getting slapped by two constables .He should be not more than 17 years old. I saw him crying, He was drunk . his shirts were torn and the buttons were ripped off , hes bleeding from his mouth . I overheard from the constables that the boy had murdered his girlfriend..
The police interrogated him in front of me . The girl cheated him. According to him , she slept with his friend. He didn't meant to kill the girl , was heavily drunk and alcohol made him a murderer .After an hour long questioning and torture, they left us locked up .

There was a very little light in inside the lockup .i wasn't able to see the boys face , but i could hear he weeping . I wanted to console him , but what will i tell him !. I tried to catch my sleep back .I couldn't believe that a boy of this age can kill someone. I couldn't sleep because of his weeping sound .So i decided to calm him down , I asked him his name. He didn't replied. Instead he started crying loudly .
I went near to him, Kept my hands on his shoulder . I had no idea what to tell . I asked him

" Were you alone when u did that ? "

I really didn't mean that , That question was has nothing to do with present situation.
He stopped weeping. He looked up to me .blood was coming out of his mouth.I could feel his breath. He gave me a stern look.

" No i was accompanied by 3 "

"Who all ? And where are they?"

" The guy at the bar who gave me drinks even if i am not 18 ,
The police constable who let me drive even if i was drunk when i gave him 100 rupees ,And
The god who took back my parents even before they teach me what is good and what is bad "

Nobody is alone in their Sins .. Always you have a Companion in your Sins ... And the rest was silence

Mea culpa , Mea culpa , Mea maxima culpa...

Childhood is the best part of our life. Friends, schools , games...we cannot forget those moments. I had my schooling in a church school , one among the best in my town.The teachers were too strict in my school and my classmates were too good in studies . Coming first in class was a dream that time and remained a dream for me .. I was a below average student .I always tried to become teachers pet but my marks never let me do that.

My classmates had a different view about friends. They where too choosy. They used to make friends among the best in class . So was i that time ,but i never had a bright student as friend as i was not bright.. One day a new student came to my class , his name is Jay. He failed last year and came to my class. He entered the class and sat near me. I dont want he to sit near me or become my friend as he was not good in studies. So i ignored him .
History was the first period that day . The teacher was too strict , she needs everyone to follow exactly as she said . I had a bad impression about me as i was the lowest in history . I desperatly wanted to improve my image in front of her.

She started the class and asked " Who all forgot to bring History textbooks ? "

I never used to take my history textbook out of my bag , So i had the textbook . Then i noticed that Jay is not having a textbook . He told me not to tell mam , as we are in the backbench she wont be able to find the truth . But i wanted to make my image good. so i got up and told mam that Jay is not having a textbook . Mam came rushing at him and scolded him for not telling truth when she asked.She told him to go out of class.
I really didnt want that . I saw him in the corridor weeping . And rest was silence....